see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
