Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
