Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
