I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize