Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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