The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
