but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
