perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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