Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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