I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
