Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
