She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
