are you still at the devil's house?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Randomize
