Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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