Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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