if you like me you must not know who I am
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
