I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
