As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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