It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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