New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
