What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
