I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
