boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
