so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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