I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize