something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
