I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
