Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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