please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize