I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
