I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
