Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Randomize
