i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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