The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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