you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
should my penis look like a turkey
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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