well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
