Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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