nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
