Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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