please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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