That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
