Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
