the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
