Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
