I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
