...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
