I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
