no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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