So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
