theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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