how can u be prego again
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Even my vagina gasped.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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