i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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