Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
