They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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