i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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