why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
