I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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