we're blogging at a bar
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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