everyone is single if you try hard enough
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
