If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
