i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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